Sparkle

Sparkle has recently become a running joke between me and my training analyst. Not long ago he commented to me that I don't have to sparkle at everything. Blog entries don't have to sparkle with wit and brilliance. The meals I prepare can just be simple and nutritious rather than taste sensations. When I interact with others, my engaged presence is enough and that I don't have to leave them dazzled. There must be some crazy internal sparkle index by which I rate my performance.

In truth, not needing to sparkle is a tremendous relief. I suspect I kicked in the sparkle gear as a kid to get some response from a depressed mother and a preoccupied father. I became the generator of the interactions with them. No sparkle, no response. In retrospect, this is very sad. Unless I sparkled I didn't feel neat. This explains a deep down fear that if I do not sparkle, I will bore people and they will not want to be around me. Who wants to hang around someone who doesn't sparkle? Sparkle people are fun and entertaining. Sparkle people can sing, dance, tell delightful stories and flash their dimples. Man, what a heavy load it is to be responsible for cheering up, entertaining, informing and brightening up the entire world!

Today I hereby officially tender my resignation as a designated sparkler and return responsibility to others for their own entertainment, joy and satisfaction. Amen!