Recently I learned a wonderful saying. A woman was telling me about her husband's habit of letting other people know his sensitive points and then whining when he gets punched in those very places. She was really frustrated with him saying "Everyone knows you don't tell people where you've tied up your goat". What a great expression! And a very useful one because it is so common to find people who set themselves up to be hurt over and over.
For example people who think they are unattractive might share with a new love or friend that they were terribly hurt in the past by people who teased or called them ugly. Of course, in sharing that information, they give others ammunition to use against them. This ammunition is custom tailored to destroy the relationship. Once they are again attacked with ugly comments, it only confirms their own deeply entrenched belief that they are unlovable and never will be loved because of their appearance. In fact, they have set up the situation, not the new friend or love. It's reverse psychology: Whatever you do, don't call me ugly. And what do they do? They follow the explicit instructions and get their goat.
2 comments:
What a wonderful prhase! I think there aren't nearly enough goat-themed aphorisms out there, though I do have one to share. When, Jeff, Flip, Dana and I visited a dairy goat farm on Maui, the retired Swiss software designer who owned the place said that he often received compliments on how clean the milking area is. He explained that it's because dairy goats are clean and don't excrete willy nilly like some other livestock. He said, "Cows are cows, but goats are ladies." Hmm... perhaps we can try to popularize "leaving the goats to guard the dustbin?"
There is a legend that it was common at one time to keep a goat in the barn with the dairy cows. Supposedly the goat was a calming influence on the cows who then produced more milk. It was said that if someone hated you, they might steal your goat and then your cows would be agitated and produce less milk. Thus the reasoning behind the expression getting one's goat. Maybe the moral should be be to get rid of the cows and stick with goats.
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