Nothing to sneeze at

TA repeatedly thunks me on the head to remind me that I cannot/must not accord more to others than is warranted. I should not expect others to think and behave like me. Obvious, you might say. I am learning but then there are those moments.

Not long ago I was talking to a man who says that he really wants a girlfriend. His batting average with women is abysmal. He is clueless how to approach a woman. For example, he took one young lady out for a cup of coffee and within ten minutes was grilling her about her desire for children. She said she'd like kids some day and wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. He told her he didn't make enough money for her to do that. She was totally stunned. She didn't recall asking him to father her child. Any possible future with her ended right there.

He chews tobacco. He's asked me many times if girls mind chew. I said that a lot do. He's still chewing and spitting. He also works with his hands. I've pointed out that I know that it is just grease under his fingernails but a new girl might not know that. He has never owned a nail brush.

He asked me if he needed to buy new boots. Looking at them, it seemed that they just needed a good polishing. He commented that his father polished his boots every week before going to church, but it seems he did not have any shoe polish nor did he know how to polish shoes.

Next I asked him if he carried a knife. I knew he did. It's good to be able to answer one question right. Noting his bare wrist, I pointed out that a gentleman wears a watch. I knew he might not to wear one at work because he handled heavy machinery. Still a man ought to know what time it was. Maybe a pocket watch would work for him.

Next came this conversation:

Me:You do carry a bandanna or handkerchief, don't you?
Him: My Dad always carries one.
Me: But, do you?
Him: No
Me: So what do you use when you need to wipe your nose?
Him: (blowing his nose into his hand) This!
Me: A gentleman always carries a handkerchief.
Him: They do?
Me: Yup, so he's ready if he needs to wipe his nose or get the sweat off his brow.
Him sneezes into his right hand.
Me: umm, I don't think anyone would want to shake your hand after that.
Him: They would, if I didn't tell them.
Me: I doubt if any girl would want to hold that hand either. You need to start carrying a handkerchief.

Now this is man has a two years of college under his belt. He did not grow up in poverty either. Mom and Dad were solidly middle-class people, but some basic lessons never were learned.

I caught myself sniffing as I typed this entry. Truth be told I am a recovering sniffer. For some reason, when growing up nobody told me to blow my nose when I was sniffling. I just sniffed the snot back up into my nose, which only means it rolled back down a few minutes later. I knew to carry a tissue or a hankie, but isn't it curious, in a home where appearance and good manners mattered a great deal, that no one said that sniffling is annoying? Kind of odd, I'd say. I learned to say please and thank you. I wore white gloves. I was taught to curtsy but I didn't learn I should discreetly blow my nose when I began sniffling.