This has been the strangest week. In one day I celebrated my oldest daughter's 28th birthday, summoned my siblings to mother's bedside for a death watch, remembered the anniversary of my dad's death and then discovered my boss had suddenly left mid-day without an explanation. Patients were scheduled non-stop so I really couldn't allow myself to dwell on the events occurring outside of the inner sanctum (my term for what analysts call the consulting room). It was so good to end the day with a lovely phone call to the birthday girl.
And sleep was fitful as it has been for the past two weeks. This is not fun. Then yesterday mother rebounded significantly. Siblings arrived and were questioning why they had been called. I learned that the boss had a case of food poisoning. His hasty departure made perfect sense. And I'm still exhausted. This stuff is so maddening too because all the normal stuff you want to do like getting new tires for the car, running to the cleaners, washing the stinky dog or selecting wallpaper end up shelved. And there's no clear point at which I know I'll be able to tend to these things. People have been wishing me a good weekend and I can think only of more trips out to the hospital.
Mother has rebounded before and then slipped again. Over the past 4 months, there have been some modest temporary improvements but alas the overall curve has been steadily downhill. Son sighed and said "Will I have to go through this with you?" I don't know the answer to that question. I do know that sometimes life is just plain hard and the right path is not always the easy one. I know that working through the tough times makes a person stronger and that love is never wasted.
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